Parenting After Separation: What Parents Need to Know

Separation changes a lot of things, but it doesn't change your responsibilities as a parent. Whether you and your ex-partner separated amicably or not, the law expects you to keep working together on the decisions that matter most for your child, if safe to do so. At Evans & Wislang, we help parents understand exactly where they stand — and what to do when an agreement isn't easy to reach.

Here's a practical guide to the key issues that come up after separation.

Decision-Making Responsibility: Who Decides What

Family law doesn't hand down a script for how you should co-parent. Instead, both parents generally retain what's called decision-making responsibility — the right and duty to make major decisions about a child's life, including where they live, where they go to school, and what medical treatment they receive.

This is separate from day-to-day care decisions (what your child eats, wears, or does after school), which sit with whichever parent has the child at the time.

Importantly, sharing decision-making responsibility doesn't mean equal time — those are two different things. One is about decision-making authority; the other is about the parenting schedule itself.

Where it's safe to do so, parents are expected to consult each other on major decisions and reach agreements that reflect their child's best interests. If you get to an agreement, it's worth putting it in writing — consent orders or a properly drafted parenting agreement can prevent a lot of confusion (and conflict) down the track.

The Decisions That Need Both Parents

A few categories of decision typically require consultation between separated parents, where safe to do so:

• Schooling — which school, public or private, whether siblings attend together, and who covers fees or attends school events

• Medical care — prescribed medication, tests, vaccinations, and non-emergency surgery

• Religious and cultural upbringing — which services or ceremonies a child participates in, including, for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children, protecting their right to connect with culture

These conversations are often where things get tense, particularly when parents disagree on values or priorities. Getting advice early — before a decision needs to be made, not after a disagreement has already escalated — is usually the difference between a manageable conversation and a drawn-out dispute.

Moving House and Relocation

Planning to move? If the distance won't affect your child's time with the other parent, and there's no court order preventing it, you're generally free to go. But a move that changes schooling, routine, or time-sharing arrangements is a different matter.

In those cases, the expectation is that you'll discuss the move with your ex-partner and try to reach agreement before making plans — not after signing a lease. If you can't agree, mediation is the next step, and in most cases, it's a mandatory step before either of you can apply to the court for parenting orders.

Moving without an agreement carries real risk. An ex-partner who wasn't consulted can apply for orders requiring your child to be returned, or even to live with them instead. If you're considering relocating with your child, get advice before you commit to anything.

Travel and Passports

Taking your child overseas — even for a holiday — requires more planning than most parents expect. You'll need:

• No parenting orders preventing travel

• A valid passport in your child's name

• Ideally, an agreement with the other parent, supported by a clear travel itinerary

If there are parenting orders in place, they govern what you can and can't do — and travelling in breach of them can amount to an offence. If your ex-partner won't consent to a passport application, there are limited pathways to apply directly to the Passport Office, or ultimately to the court, but these require evidence and preparation.

If you're worried your child might be taken overseas without your knowledge, the court can place your child's name on the Family Law Watchlist — a protective mechanism that alerts the Australian Federal Police. This is not something to leave until the last minute; if there's a genuine and immediate risk, urgent orders are available, including outside normal business hours.

Changing Your Child's Name

If you and your ex-partner agree, changing your child's name is a straightforward administrative process through the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Without agreement, it's more limited. You can generally only proceed unilaterally if you're the sole parent listed on the birth certificate, you hold sole decision-making responsibility, you have a specific court order approving the change, or the other parent has died. Otherwise, mediation — and potentially a court application — is the pathway forward.

When You Can't Agree: Mediation and Court Orders

Most parenting disputes are expected to go through mediation before they reach a courtroom. It's often described as a "pre-action procedure," and in most circumstances, it's not optional — you'll need a mediation certificate before the court will consider your application (unless you qualify for an exemption, such as in cases involving safety concerns or urgency).

Mediation isn't just a box to tick. Done well, it can resolve a genuine impasse without the cost, delay, and stress of litigation. But it only works if both parties come to the table with realistic expectations — which is where good legal advice, before and during the process, makes a real difference.

How Evans & Wislang Can Help

Every family's situation is different, and the right approach depends on your circumstances — your child's needs, your co-parenting relationship, and what's realistically achievable. Our family law team helps parents at every stage of this process: negotiating parenting agreements, preparing for mediation, and, where necessary, representing clients in court.

If you're navigating a parenting issue after separation and want to understand your options, get in touch with our family law team for tailored advice.

Disclaimer: This blog article is intended to provide general information only and does not constitute legal advice. It does not take into account your personal circumstances and should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional legal advice. Laws referred to in this article may have changed since publication, and their application can vary depending on individual circumstances. If you require advice on a specific parenting or family law matter, please contact Evans & Wislang directly to arrange a consultation with one of our family law solicitors.